And so my journey begins....

Four months and 6 days. One hundred twenty six days. Three thousand twenty four hours. That's how long I have before I meet my 30th birthday. The birthday that I have decided marks the year of change. The birthday that hopefully will allow me to become a bit happier with my lifestyle and overall well-being.

I suffer from the disease of laziness and hoping for things to change on their own. I realize that this is not a rational way of thinking, especially since in every other part of my life that does not include my weight or health directly, I am a go-getter and never sit back, letting life happen. I am highly motivated, constantly striving to be the best at what I do and how I portray myself to the people around me. But for some reason, when it comes to taking care of myself, I find myself lacking.

After my last physical, which I try to avoid if at all possible (but this last time it was imperative to get one done), I found out some things that I had a feeling were inevitable, but still suprising. My doctor told me, according to my latest test results, that my bad cholestrol was too high, my good cholestrol is too low, my blood pressure is too high, and I am borderline diabetic. YIKES! And here I am, wondering why over the past 2 years, I have been having trouble conceiving (especially since I already have 2 children).

Now I've known since the birth of my son 3 years, that I needed to lose weight. I have gained 70 pounds since getting pregnant with him, which has been weighing me down literally and figuratively. I have never been a skinny-minnie, but I was once at a weight that I was satisfied with, that I felt looked good on me. And I never had any negative test results. I have always known that I wanted to lose weight, but never really had the "push" to get me there, and wasn't too worry about how it was affecting my health. But now it's a little different, because now it takes on so much more meaning.

And I'm realizing that this is not ok. That when I walk up the 2 flights of stairs to my bedroom everynight, having to stop for a breath is not good. That when my kids want me to go out and play soccer or basketball with them, I can only play for 15 minutes without getting tired, and even when I do play it's only half-heartedly. That when I get invited to events that require me to dress up, I shudder at the thought of putting on nice clothing that I can't hide my body in. That when I'm in public with my husband, I worry about all the people thinking "Why is he with that fat girl?" These are not positive thoughts or actions; these are things that do help me realize what I need to do.

So, starting today (well tomorrow morning), I am working on my goal to be a healthier, more fit by my 30th birthday. My ultimate goal for my 30th birthday is to lower my blood pressure, blood sugar, and bad cholestrol, and to be 50 pounds lighter. And this blog is part of the way that will keep me honest and hold me accountable. I will blog at least once a week about my progress, and will accept any comments, suggestions, or criticism openly.

I am no longer allowing my "life" to be the excuse to bad habits. I am no longer allowing myself to be lackadasical about my overall well-being. I am no longer allowing myself be a victim to my poor body image.

I am finally going to weight for a change!